Praise Reports

I just took a moment to read over some of my past posts (as there aren't that many of them, shame shame!!!) and I realized that there have been positive developments on some situations that I have mentioned before.

Remember that co-worker that once irked me like nobody's business? Well, we are still not fast friends, but our relationship is remarkably different than it was earlier in the year. PRAYER WORKS. It is not me. I would like to say that I am forgiving, peace-loving, not easily offended, etc. etc. - but I struggle with holding grudges and flying off the handle at the slightest provocation. You might not catch me cursing or choking folk out, but Lord knows what's in my mind and heart sometimes. Anyhoo, basically after Dr. Weems' sermon, I really began praying for compassion and understanding, both which eventually came. Does he still make off-handed comments? Does he still seek me for "the black perspective"? Does he still come off as condescending? Yes, yes and yes. However, its MY response to him that is different. If I feel he is baiting me, I seek understanding, rather than assume his motivation. Granted, there are days when its harder than others, but those are days when I ask for grace to be able to show grace.

Its worth noting that he is one of the only coworkers I told about the Saartjie Project appearing in the Capital Fringe Festival that actually came to one of our shows. Imagine my shock at his embrace and words of encouragement afterwards! It happened to be the same night that my mom saw the show for the first time and she was beaming with pride (another miracle, as I was really worried what she would think).

I also wrote about looking for a church home and while I still have not found one, I am actively searching instead of just regularly visiting ("dating") other folks' churches or not going to one at all. This past Sunday, I went to Zion Baptist Church and really enjoyed the service. I am not sure if its for me, but I am excited about the possibility of being "churched". My friend who told me about the church heads up the missions ministry and they are currently focussing on domestic violence. I am open to learning more.

I am just really thankful, reflecting back. Its easy to get caught up with dissatisfaction with your current situation instead of thinking about how far you have come, how far God has brought you. I was in church last Thursday (my friend/favorite co-worker, Darryl was preaching his second sermon) and while the pastor was praying about speaking about deliverance, he said something like "you don't even talk the way you used to talk" and I recalled how an ex and I would have really inappropriate after hours conversations over the phone. I would engage in them and feel so guilty afterwards. I prayed over that situation, thinking I would never be able to stop that behavior. Eventually, I was convicted to have an honest talk with my ex about the nature of our conversations and friendship. As a result, this person is no longer a part of my life. While there are times that I miss him, I do not miss the guilt or disrespect I was allowing myself to endure and contributing to.

I am thankful that the sadness of another relationship ending has finally dissipated. I mentioned this person in the post about doing the spiritual art journaling at the Sacred Circles conference. He was the person I felt had awakened love in my heart, but was no longer with me. This year, a series of painful (to me)disappointments with this individual led me to cut off all ties to him. I thought that I would never stop feeling sad and angry about how we ended up, and what I believed to be blatant dishonesty on his part. Nevertheless, through time and prayer, I have been able to let those negative emotions and him go. I realize that he is not God's best for me (nor I for him) and I did not leave the situation empty-handed. There are many hard-earned (and learned) lessons have made me better, not bitter. Also, his absence leaves space for God's best to enter my life, when the time is right.

Another praise report is due for The Saartjie Project and all that we have been able to accomplish in the past year. As I stated above, we were chosen to perform in the Capital Fringe Festival and also traveled to Minnesota to be a part of the Theater of the Oppressed conference, and so much more is coming through the pipeline. I will be posting a promotional/informational clip, as well as a clip of us on the news - you can hear me faintly singing. Its beautiful to grow as a collective and as individual artists. Each of us has something creative and beautiful taking shape - its truly miraculous to see and experience.

THANK YOU LORD!
THANK YOU LORD!
THANK YOU LORD!